Diary of a Hot Pink Mama

My crazy rantings about life as a young, single mom just trying to keep my head on straight!

Sunday, July 22, 2007

To Protect and Serve...or Something

I want to start off by saying that I never wanted a little boy. When I was younger and I pictured my life in the future, I pictured a gaggle of little girls in little pink dresses with little pink bows and little patent leather Mary-Janes. When I found out I was pregnant, my ex told me. “There are no girls in the family”. And my response was “well get ready for the first one!” Then in January of 2004, the ultrasound technician said “do you want to know the sex?” and STUPID me said “of course!” When she said “looks like a little boy!” I nearly had a heart attack. I’ll admit it, I cried…a lot.

But eventually, I got over it, and I had a fabulously wonderful baby boy who has totally changed my life. All in all, having a little boy is totally fun! So fun in fact that I have said, out loud, more than once that if I ever have more children and they are of the boy persuasion, I won’t cry about it. I might even be HAPPY about it!! I had major qualms about raising a boy by myself with no man around the house, but so far, we haven’t run into anything we can’t overcome…until now.

My son will not keep his hands off of his crotch. He has his hands on it at.all.times. At home and in public. This is very…erm…embarrassing. I mean, seriously, he grabs his crotch more than Eminem and that’s just not acceptable. I honestly don’t get it. Is he afraid someone’s going to snatch it? Is he waiting for it to grow? Does he have a raging bladder infection? And most importantly, how do I make him STOP IT???

And don’t even get me started on how he treats it when he’s in the tub…all I’m saying is that if there’s a way to pull it completely off, my son will figure it out.

Now I love the child more than life itself and all that ooey gooey stuff, BUT I’m honestly considering duct taping his hands to the top of his head.


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