How we wrap gifts in my house...

Supplies Needed:

* unwrapped gifts (preferably in oddly shaped boxes, because, you know, that’s always way more fun!!
* wrapping paper (2 different patterns, one for presents from you, one for presents from Santa because perhaps your 2 year-old is a super genius who will figure it all out if you don’t use different papers!!)
* tape
* scissors
* gift tags
* bows
* wine
* chocolate candy

Steps:

1. pick out which gift you want to wrap first
2. measure wrapping paper
3. curse toy companies for not making nice square boxes like normal people!!
4. cut paper as crookedly as possible
5. tear off a piece of tape and stick it to your finger
6. realize the piece of paper you cut is too small to fit around the box you’re wrapping
7. say very bad word and hope no one heard you
8. eat chocolate
9. drink wine
10. cut a HUGE piece of wrapping paper
11. wrap it around the sides of the box
12. unstick the tape that has wrapped around your finger and stuck to itself
13. wine and chocolate
14. tape paper to the middle of the box
15. cut excess paper off of the sides
16. accidentally tear paper while you’re cutting it
17. say another very bad word
18. wine
19. try to wrap up the ends of the terribly oddly shaped box
20. curse
21. try harder
22. finally get it together
23. hold with one hand while tearing tape with the other
24. stick tape to itself again
25. curse
26. drink wine
27. refill glass
28. try again
29. SUCCESS!!!
30. repeat with other side of box
31. tag gift appropriately
32. open large bag of bows
33. stick bow to wrapped gift
34. hold gift up to look at the final product
35. bow falls off
36. try to stick it back on
37. falls off again
38. curse
39. put bow on your head
40. it sticks
41. curse
42. wine
43. forget the bow
44. realize gift is slightly…puffy looking and wrapped terribly
45. don’t care

Repeat until all gifts are wrapped or until you get so damn frustrated that you decide to get gift bags for all those stupid funny shaped boxes. Vow to hire someone to wrap your gifts next year.