"Routine Checkup" (and also too many quotation marks")

Today was our “Routine” 3 year check-up. I went armed with my usual list of ridiculous problems so I could discuss them with our pediatrician. Our discussion usually consists of me rattling off behavior that I think is strange and him shaking his head at me like I’m the dumbest person on earth, patting me on the head, and telling me “it’s perfectly normal”. I then get to leave the office with a nice reassurance that my child is in fact “normal”.

Today was different. Today when I spoke, he listened…intently. When I described his behavioral problems, he nodded and looked concerned and scratched his head. When I talked about his speech issues, he wrote things down in his file. Then he disappeared. He returned a few minutes later with 3 business cards, one for a speech pathologist and two for child psychologists.

On one hand, I feel relieved. Perhaps I’m not crazy. Maybe I’m not doing everything wrong. All those times that I struggle to understand what he’s saying, all the “say it like this honey”, “repeat after me, don’t point”. All of those tantrums where he screams and throws things, melts down, glazes over, becomes someone else. They aren’t normal.

On the other, I’m totally freaking out.